Today, I wanted to see if my teacher actually reads our essays, or just grades them based on neatness. The assignment was to write about the importance of money in our lives. I wrote a detailed essay on baluga whales and how they resembled aquatic snowmen. I got an A. MLIA

Today, I had to wake up early to take the SAT. The first thing the instructor said was "Today, you all will be taking the SAT." A kid behind me slammed his fists on the desk and yelled "WHAT?!" and then ran out of the room. He didn't come back. MLIA

Today, I was reading my AP Biology textbook. Apparently, humans *usually* give birth to humans. Thanks for clearing that up, AP Bio. MLIA

In health class, I was picked for a demonstration on the effects of alcohol on coordination. I stood at the front of class and was told to catch as many of the bouncy balls being thrown at me as I could. I missed every one. Then, my teacher gave me drunk goggles and repeated the experiment. I caught nine bouncy balls. I always knew I'd make a good pirate. MLIA

Today, my little sister and I were outside waiting for my boyfriend to pick us up. I was bored because he was late, so I pointed up and said, "Hey, Casey, look! Someone wrote gullible on the ceiling!" She looked up and searched and finally said, "I don't see it." We were outside. MLIA

Today, I was running out of ideas for Google vs. Yahoo. I typed in "who wishes..." Yahoo came up with "Who wishes to behold." Google? "Who wishes to attack denmark to avenge king hamlet's death?" Google wins again. MLIA.

Today, when I turned my calculator on in math, I gasped because the screen read "Hello Harry Potter, this is Lord Voldemort". I did not write the message. We spent the next ten minutes of class discussing what the possible effects of having Voldemort possess your calculator are. This could explain my grade in math. MLIA.

I was eating milk duds today in the little packs. Usually, I get four but I only got three this time. I got so angry and called "The Hershey Company" on the back of the box. I complained to them and they asked for my name and address, town, phone number and zip code. Only a few days later I received a box filled with styrofoam. After going through it for about a minute, I found one lonely milk dud at the bottom. MLIA.

The other day in my history class we got into an epic paper aiplane fight which included kids using their desks as forts and throwing paper balls as "bombs". This continued for the full 2 hour period because my teacher thought it was fun and was fighting with us. When a security gurd came into class and asked us what we were doing my teacher told her we were reenacting the Alamo. Its nice to know that a class full of seniors has its priorities.

Today I was walking past two people, a guy and a girl, and I heard them talking. The guy said something, and the girl said "I have a boyfriend." The guys said "I have two goldfish." The girl looked confused and said "What?" then the guys said "Oh.. I thought we were naming things that don't matter." I walked by again to high five this guy. The girl's face was priceless, especially seeing as its my girlfriend. MLIA.

Today, I found out the various ways that the kids in my class used to disguise their phones ringing: 7 kids made theirs sound like coughing, 3 made theirs sound like the rattling of the air conditioning, and 1 even recorded himself writing so it would sound like he was taking notes if his phone went off. I set my phone to silent

Today, our school had an event where parents visit their child's classes and I was the helper who pointed out where to go if they got lost. I approached a man in a suit and asked him if he needed any help? He looked at me and said, "No thanks, im the principal of the school." Whoops. MLIA

Today, while on MysteryGoogle my result was "text --- --- ---- and tell them you hate them." This wouldn't have been weird...if the number wasn't my own. I'm a little scared. MLIA.

Today, I had my first ultrasound to check on my unborn baby. For most of the appointment, he was curled up in the typical fetal position. When the time came to print pictures, however, he flung his legs over his head and mooned the machine. I have high hopes for this one. MLIA

Yesterday, a friend and I were talking about how there were so many emoticons to choose from and wondered if it was possible to have an entire conversation using a combination of the emoticons. 45 minutes and zero words later, we had fully discussed the sensibility of nursery rhymes, in particular the one with the cow jumping over the moon. MLIA

A few days ago, I was playing World Domination in gym class. We were allowed to choose our own team names. In grade 2, they were Argentina, Thailand, Ireland and Italy. What were they now? Lala-Land, Fairytopia, The Narnian Ninja Pirates, and the 3-2-1 Bombers. There's an improvement. MLIA

Today I realized that my parents sleep in a king-sized bed, my sister in a queen-sized bed, and me in a twin bed. But, instead of a dog bed, my dog sleeps on the king-sized bed in the spare room. Guess we know who mom and dad's favorite is. MLIA.

A couple months ago, we were reading a play in my AP English class. As always, I checked the front of the book to see who had had it before me. I turned to my friend and told him I had his brother's book. Another person in the class chimed in saying no way, she had his brother's book. 13 other people then turned and said the same thing. Apparently, my friend's brother signed all 30 copies of the play. We then spent the rest of the hour arguing over who REALLY had his book. I love my friend's brother. MLIA

Today, I heard my big brother screaming like a little girl. I rushed into his room and asked him what had happened. Apparently he was removing pimples on his chest, and thought his HAIRY! was one. MLIA